Communication Guidelines

• All members are responsible for expressing their own emotions so that others understand. All feelings are taken into consideration, but each member must make their feelings known for this to work.
• All members are able to ask anyone else about their feelings on any topic. Some type of answer is required, even if it is, "I don't want to talk about that", give a reason why if you use such an answer. So others don't feel you are trying to avoid the issue. Being able to ask why opens communication to the truth.
• If you are bothered by something, speak up immediately! Even if you aren't sure why it bothers you. Discussing may help make sense of why, and interruptions are preferred over waiting. Emotional relationships are more important than what physical events are occurring at the time. Emotions that wait a long time before showing often blow up and cause more serious problems.
• If anyone suspects a STD, all will be notified immediately, even before confirmation from testing. Embarrassing that person will be carefully avoided and confidentiality maintained. The safety of the group is very important, and preventing embarrassment is essential to open, immediate communication.
• Notify others of a new relationship at the earliest convenience. Include info on how much the new person knows about poly. Be aware that the energy of creating a new relationship may make juggling other ones more difficult, and try not to let older relationships get left out. (Invite the person over, do introductions, make sure everyone becomes comfortable with everyone else.) The person who may be entering the family must be aware of what he/she is dealing with. Current family members can understand lack of time a lot better if they are notified that the time has gone to starting a new relationship. This keeps everyone more comfortable with the change.
• Don't lie.
• Talk about problems directly instead of fantasizing difficulties and running from them.
• Try to understand actions before judging them or reacting strongly.
• Don't deny problems, hoping they will go away - they won't.