Polyamory Presentation Outline

1.Introduction:
· Hello my name is Indigo
· I'd like to thank you for allowing me the opportunity to share with you today, my experiences and knowledge of Polyamory.
Outline
· Some of the things I will be discussing today are breaking the boundaries on our inter personal relationship taboos. Coming in to the new millenium it is time for us as a society to reevaluate many of our out dated views on inter personal relationships. Offering a lifestyle to alleviate many of the problems that occur in our current relationship models; issues of commitment, jealously and sex to name a few. A lifestyle, an alternate solution being called Polyamory.

2.What is Polyamory:
· Greek and Latin roots poly = many amore or amory = love
· An umbrella term describing a wide range of love styles.
· The practice of loving multiple partners emotionally, mentally, spiritually or sexually; at the same time, consensually and honestly.
· An understanding that love, can not be forced to flow, or not flow, in particular direction.
· Letting love evolve without expectations or demands
· A term to express responsible non monogamy and sexual loving relationships other than those limited to 2 people.
History, origins:
The term was originated by Church of All Worlds founders Oberon and Morning Glory Zell
(CHURCH OF ALL WORLDS- A Neo Pagan religion founded in 1962 and incorporated March 4, 1968. Taking its name and much of its founding philosophy from Robert Heinlein's 1961 novel, Stranger in a Strange Land. CAW is inspired by science fiction as mythology, and is dedicated to the celebration of Life, the maximal actualization of human potential, and the realization of ultimate individual freedom and personal responsibility in harmonious Eco psychic relationship with the total biosphere of Holy Mother Earth.)
I had an opportunity to meet Oberon and Morning Glory Zell and attend a Polyamorous work shop they had at a Starwood Festival in Upstate, NY

3.Who is Polyamorous (what makes a person believe they are)
Names of Relationship models (see Poly Vocabulary):
POLYANDRY, POLYGAMY ,POLYGYNY ,PRIMARY RELATIONSHIP, SECONDARY RELATIONSHIP , Tertiary Relationship, GROUP MARRIAGE, OPEN GROUP MARRIAGE, OPEN MARRIAGE, DYAD, TRIAD, INCLUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, EXPANDED FAMILY, TRIBE, MULTIMATE RELATIONSHIP, INTIMATE NETWORK (INTINET), PLURAL MARRIAGE POLYFIDELITY
Common examples of polyamorous relationships:
· A single who is dating more than one person.
· Couples who are sexual with others with the knowledge and/or consent of their primary partners.
· 3 or more people who consider themselves to be married.
· Circle of sexual loving friends.
· People who responsible resume a sexual relationship with an ex spouse or lover after finding a new partner.

4. Am I Polyamorous
(There are a few character qualities that one must have
to sustain a polyamorous relationship)

A. Ability to handle intimate relationships
· Feel comfortable getting close to people
· Comfortable giving and receiving affection.
· Empathic and compassionate.
· Ability to share life's pleasures and sorrows within a group dynamic.

B. High self-esteem
· Self confident enough to be willing to share your lovers with others.
· Secure in the knowledge of your own worth, not depending on others for acceptance.
· Able to face conflicts that arises in the unknown territory of multiple relationships.
· Working on personal growth, committed to personal improvements.
· Ability to accept personal responsible for self-issues.
· Compersion -The enjoyment of seeing others experiencing joy and happiness; the love we feel when others feel love. It is the pleasure we feel when others experience pleasure. The opposite of Jealousy
· Ability to understand jealousy as a hint that something is wrong internally, not outwardly.

C. Good juggler of time
· Scheduling time, a good planner, interested in group activities.
· Communicating on multilevels, treating all with equal attention

D. Ability to be flexible, creative and spontaneous
· Flexible to share
· Change…open to new energy, accepting.

E. A love of intensity
· More activities, interaction, energy, interest, change, obligation, more coordination, more everything.
· Comfortable being alone while other partners are together
· Intense magickal energy when all are spending time together.

F. Appreciation for diversity
· Every group or family needs to come to terms with difference among it members.
· It's important to choose partners who share common:
Values- principles, standards or qualities considered worthwhile or desirable.
Goals- Desired purpose; objective
Religion- Belief in and reverence for a supernatural power or powers regarded as creator or governor of the universe.
Lifestyle- Way of life that reflects the attitudes and values of a person or group

G. Interpersonal Skills
· Asserting yourself
· Communication- the act of making things known (understood). See Communication Guideline
· Negotiating- to confer with another in order to come to an agreement or terms
· Nurturing- to foster, cultivate and educate

H. Sex Positive attitude
· Attracted to the idea of multiple partners
· Comfortable with expanded sexual environment
· Able to accept your own and others sexuality (straight,bisexual or homosexual )
· High sex drive.

I. Independent streak
· Maintaining a sense of yourself (not getting lost in group dynamics)

J. A Team Spirit
· Willing to work for the good of the whole group.
· Being aware and concerned of others needs.
· Putting other's needs first, desire to give rather then receive.

5.Guidelines for responsible relationships

A. Consensus decision making
· Ground rules
· Negotiate
· Staying informed

B. Honesty
· Total honesty
· Open honest communication
· Fear (False Evidence Appearing Real) vs. Love…There are only 2 base emotions love and fear all other emotions are from these two.
· Trustworthy
· Being upfront about polyamorous nature and relationships with prospective partners.

C. Mutual Caring
· Well being, concern for the well-being of others and the well-being of ones-self.
· Does this relationship enhance and support everyone involved.
· Health…STD's, birth control etc.

D. Commitment
· The exact nature of your commitment-level of commitment.
· Relationship model, level of "out-ness" to friends family and others.

E. Integrity
· Being able to keep commitments if and when made.
· Doing as you say you are going to do.
Integrity- steadfast adherence to strict moral or ethical code, completeness; unity.
· Self knowledge and self acceptance
· Being aware of all parts of you - needs, desires and wants. (thought, words and deeds)

F. Respect for other boundaries
· Boundary setting
· Valuing the unique qualities and contributions by others.
· Avoid losing one's self in the group.